Parenting Is Hard! — Shades of Influence

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Welcome to September, Shades readers!

Time has certainly flown by and we are now in back to school mode, getting the kids back into a routine, helping them get used to new people and maybe new schools. It is an exciting time but it can often provide moments of anxiety for both parents and children as well. Many parents often feel nervous for their kids as they venture out into the world, no matter what age they are. You want to protect your children from harm and hardship but you have to balance that inclination with helping them to cope with situations on their own. A delicate balance, to be sure.

So today, we offer some tips on how to handle the brave new world of the new school year. Please do not hesitate to comment below if you have any other great recommendations. We can all learn from each other.

Two of our Shades partners have kids and the age ranges are quite broad. One of us has a daughter in their 20s and one of us has a teenaged boy who is just starting high school and a toddler – definitely a wide spectrum right? Here are a few things we have learned over time:

Be present: In today’s world, we are distracted. Social media, texting, messaging, streaming…the list goes on. Our kids learn from us. If we are not present, they will not be. Make time to talk, to play, to help your children without being so distracted by other things – they will share more with you and they will feel valued. Ultimately both you and they will be better off.

Learn the difference between guiding and directing: The first thing you want to do is tell your children what to do to save time or to save them from difficulty. Learn the difference between telling them what to do, for example, in situations where their safety is at risk and guiding them, for example, when they are struggling with a friendship. Our children need to learn self-sufficiency which means as parents, we need to back off sometimes.

Learn how to deal with your own stuff: When I was a kid, my grade 4 class started swimming lessons at our local community centre and my mother delayed my starting the classes because she was very afraid of water. She finally relented and I started classes a few weeks later. As time went on, we were preparing for a day to showcase our skills and I was excited to do the jumping into the hoop activity at the deep end. On the day of our exhibition, I was ready to go and as I was standing on the edge of the pool, I could feel the sheer terror from my poor mother. I couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t. My mom didn’t mean to project her fear onto me, of course, but that is what happened. Our kids are feeding off of us at all times so make sure you are taking care of your own issues because you will either teach them to address or repress. By taking care of you, you are taking care of them!

We hope these tips help you as you start the new school year and good luck!

Have a great week and please share us!