Be Kind To Yourself

I recently went to a networking social event that I usually attend annually. Leading up to the event, I had a hard time figuring out what to wear.  Last year, I had gone just a touch too casual and felt uncomfortable for the entire evening.  I was determined to not repeat my previous mistake.  I settled on an appropriate outfit and attended the event feeling quite good about what I wore and how I looked. The next day. a friend and I were sharing pics that we had taken and we both had shots of each other which we looked at in greater detail.  All my friend could talk about was how imperfect her facial features were and all I could talk about was how I didn't like how I looked at all. We picked ourselves apart in those pictures, even though we each thought the other looked perfectly fine.  How others see us and how we see ourselves are often disconnected.  

A few years ago, I was having a conversation with another friend who had done an amazing job of losing about 60 lbs.  Throughout the conversation, she talked about the additional work she had to do as her thighs and arms were still so flabby.  The sad thing was that she wasn't speaking from a place of pride that she had done so well. She was speaking from a place of judgment that she still had so far to go.  

Why do we do this to ourselves?  We self deprecate and judge and compare and contrast and ultimately we make ourselves just feel terrible about what we look like.  Living in this age of social media where images are created to look perfect has caused us to just feel not good enough.  

It is a fact that people who have low self esteem raise children who have low self esteem and feelings of low self worth.  We are raising generations to feel unworthy.  

So what do we do?  

Well first, we need to stop and call BS on those perfect images out there. We need to recognize them for what they are - they might represent goals to aspire to but they certainly should not make us feel terrible about ourselves.  

Next we need  to find our sweet spots - find those things that help us create positivity and satisfaction about ourselves, whether they are superficial or more hidden below the surface.  It's important to know that losing 60 lbs isn't just enough, it's bloody fantastic!  

Lastly we just need to be kind to ourselves. Don't pick yourself apart for every little thing.    Do the best that you can and focus on being good to yourself and others.  Bolster yourself up, don't bring yourself down!  

So the next time you look at a picture of yourself, look at just how beautiful you really are. You deserve it!