Just Let Her Do The Dishes

Happy Mother’s Day to our Shades of Influence audience!  Today is a wonderful day to celebrate all the Moms, Mummys and Mamas our there so please make sure that you do so! 

My relationship with my Mummy was not always the easiest. We clashed a bit during the stereotypical teenage years and that followed us into my adulthood. My mother was a wonderful woman.  She was dedicated to her family and her profession, she would do anything for anyone, she was unerringly nice and was wickedly and quietly smart – she would make you think you were the smartest person in the room when really, she was.  She was loved by many but as her daughter, I related differently to her; we both had expectations of each other that didn’t always make for a smooth ride. 

Like with any relationship, there were always little grievances.  I would get irritated when my parents would visit and Mummy would want to immediately try to start cleaning stuff up. She would ask if I wanted her to do this and that around the house and I would say no, nope, not today…it was a little dance that we did.  There were two reasons I would decline; one was that I really did not want her to exert herself and the second was that I felt like if I said yes, it would show that I couldn’t take care of my own stuff.     

When my mother got sick, all of my assertions of adulthood, the façade that we often build of being strong and invulnerable, crumbled…melted like ice cream on a hot summer day.  I became her child again, wanting to wrap myself up in her skirt and never leave her.  I rediscovered my mother in the last few months of her life and while that may seem achingly sad, I am forever grateful that it happened. 

In the years that she’s been gone, I have realized over and over again how right she was about so many things and it makes me shake my head at just how smart and perceptive she really was.  My brother and I often have conversations that revolve around what she would have said or thought about whatever we are discussing.  She is in our head and in our hearts.    

So here is my message to you today - celebrate your Mom with pomp and circumstance – ply her with gifts, take her out, love her as much as you can. And when she comes over for a visit, just let her do the dishes, it isn’t that big of a deal, believe me.