I was having a conversation with a friend recently who has been having difficulty with one of their children.  She has two girls who are in their mid to late teens.  Her first daughter is very confident and has never had difficulty fitting in and my friend is very much like that as well.  Her second daughter is quieter and is very shy with others.  She has been apprehensive about entering high school and is not looking forward to it.  In the conversation, my friend discussed being perplexed at how different her daughters were, even though they are not too far apart in age and they both grew up in the same household with pretty much the same influences.  She was frustrated a bit at the way her younger daughter was dealing with her issues and said that she didn’t understand why her daughter couldn’t deal with things in the way her sister would or how she herself would.

We had a really good discussion about how theoretically, we know that we shouldn’t compare children to each other but being in the situation where you may not be sure how to handle things could make you react without considering the consequences.  It is so important for your kids to know that they can be themselves – comparing siblings can increase feelings of inferiority and can probably increase anxiety and foster resentment overall.  If you have more than one child, it is important that they know that your relationship with them is personal and customized to them and that you will treat them with the same regard and value that you treat their brothers and sisters.  It may be hard to do but the benefits you can reap in the end will be worth it as you will be raising children who are confident and grounded in their strengths and individuality. 

Shades readers, as the title of last week’s blog stated, parenting is not easy.  We salute all of the mothers and fathers out there who are trying to raise their children in a world with so many distractions and difficulties!  Thank you!

Have a great week, everyone, and please share us!