I don't get it.  I don't understand it.  Many of us spend so much time trying to figure out how to prolong our lives yet there are people out there who just want to end theirs.  But just because I don't understand it doesn't mean it 's not a thing or something that could affect any of us at any time.   

With the recent deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, the topics of mental illness and suicide have taken centre stage again.  The discussions, posts and tweets all express disbelief, all incredulous questions about how they could do what they did, they had money and access to resources so couldn't they have sought out help?  Some expressed that the act was a selfish one because of the loved ones left behind or that it just didn’t make any sense at all.

Despite or maybe because we have all those questions, we should realize just how difficult being in a place where you are thinking of ending your life can be.  The pain that must be felt is probably all consuming, overwhelming and so dark that you feel there is no light or hope. 

It is sad and scary and can affect any of us at any time.  

The attitudes toward mental illness have come a long way but there is still work to be done.  There is still a stigma attached to the disease which can be but is not limited to cultural or generational biases.  In my line of work, I speak to employees quite often who are going through situations that may require therapy or counselling and when I suggest this to them, some bristle at the mere suggestion that they may need help – it is clear that some of us still have archaic notions of what mental illness is or even what the benefits of seeking therapy can be for anyone at all.  

There are a couple of calls to action here, the first one is to dispense with the stigma.  Many companies and organizations have training and education about mental wellness and how important it is to us all.  Groups like the Canadian Mental Health Association can help so don’t hesitate and don’t sit back.  You can find them at https://cmha.ca/.

Secondly, if you sense someone in distress, reach out to them and encourage them to seek help if they are indeed suffering.  Support and encouragement are sometimes what we need to take the first step.  

Like many of you, we at Shades of Influence don’t know enough and we don’t have all of the answers.  But what we have is compassion and caring for others and a desire to help – our human condition connects us all.  Let’s be kind to ourselves and each other.